The way we see things is tainted toward our past experiences because we believe things are the way we see them. “Judgement” is a behavior so ingrained in us, most of the time we do not even realize it is taking place.

“I bother him when I reach out and ask questions. . .”

“She thinks I am incompetent. . .”

“I am terrible at presenting. . .”

We assign judgement when we take information (observations, data, facts, etc.) and filter it through our own past experiences and develop a perspective. Often judgement can get in the way of having a clear and true perspective. As a coach, this is something I work with my clients on every day. We all do it, we all get stuck in our own stories. As a coach, I challenge judgements that are being made about situations to create awareness and acceptance of what is true. Awareness and acceptance are critical first steps in moving toward intentional decisions. To get started, I want to challenge you to begin practicing discernment in place of judgement. Here is what is means to discern.

Discern | dis·​cern (Verb)

: to detect with the eyes

: to detect with senses other than vision

Discerning is simply acknowledging the facts without judgement and allows for accept of things as they are, not what we want them to be. It allows us to let go of disappointment, regret, and anger. When we let go of these things we are able to fully be ourselves and maximize our chances of performing at our best. We allow ourselves to see the situation clearly and respond with intention.

Create awareness by completing this exercise:

Consider the past week, recall a time when you judged yourself. What did you tell yourself? What message did you give yourself? How would a good friend have advised you? When you experience this same judgement in the future, what do you want to tell yourself?

Other Resources

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 - Book

10 Reasons to Stop Judging People - Article

Why you think you’re right -- even if you’re wrong - TED